thirty

yesterday, I turned 30.

many months ago:
me: I think I'd like to make a bigger deal about my 30th birthday.
husband: yeah?
me: yeah. I think I'd like to invite people over and actually have a party. but I guess I'd have to do the organizing... and do I make my own cake?
husband: no, you shouldn't make your own cake.
me: well, I don't mind.
husband: don't worry about it, we'll celebrate your birthday well.

a few weeks ago:
me: I think I'd like to have dinner with some close friends. but the trouble is, I wish I could have a huge dinner, but then it would get crazy and I'd be concerned about everyone having a good time.
husband: ... well...
me: I would invite [list a few names], but then I'd want to invite all these other people too... maybe I should have a dinner but then have a small gathering afterwards where all the other people can come.
husband: ... uh...
me: I don't know. maybe we shouldn't do anything. I don't like making people feel excluded.
husband: [blankly stares at me]
me: what do you think? what should I do?
husband: [panics] oh deb, why do you have to be so difficult!
me: what? what do you mean?
husband: [through slightly gritted teeth] I was arranging something.
me: oh! sorry! I didn't know! I didn't hear anything, so I assumed nothing was happening and I was just going to make something happen.
husband: of course something is happening!
me: sorry! I didn't know. what's happening?
husband: will you stop saying stuff?
me: oh, of course. of course. I won't ask anymore questions. sorry.

last week:
me: um, not to pry or ruin anything, but I just wanted to check if you called my brother?
husband: [gently glares at me - if you knew my husband, gently glaring would make sense] why are you asking me these questions? of course I called your brother.
me: sorry, I wasn't sure, I just wanted to make sure you called him.
husband: yes, I called him.
me: okay, just asking.
husband: stop asking questions about your present.
me: I didn't! okay, I'll stop asking questions.

a few days ago:
[I walk to the kitchen to get some water and walk past my husband who's typing away on what looks like a spreadsheet on his laptop]
me:[as I'm passing by] hi.
husband: [quickly pushes his laptop screen down and covers his work] hey, will you stop that?
me: sorry! I would have assumed you were working.
husband: well don't come back until I'm done.
me: okay, okay. I won't look.

two days ago:
husband: uh, I'm going to sweep the house a little.
me: okay.
husband: we haven't done that in a while and I figured we should just tidy up a bit.
me: can I help?
husband: no, you should just relax and take it easy. I'll do it.
me: okay... I don't mind.
husband: no, just sit and relax.

yesterday:
husband: I've got a couple of errands to run. I'll do it when mischaela is napping. so you stay home and I'll run the errands.
me: okay. I've got some groceries to get too.
husband: I'll get them for you.
me: okay. whatever you want.
[after running errands]
husband: are you done looking in the fridge for today?
me: what?
husband: are you going to open the fridge anymore?
me: I don't have to if you don't want me to...
husband: okay. don't open the fridge.
me: okay. from now on, I won't open the fridge.

we enjoy a lovely dinner with some close friends at a quaint french bistro and my husband casually invites the dinner party over to our home to hang out and play some games. on our drive home, I wonder if my brother's girlfriend's car has arrived yet. I don't see it so I assume they'll come later after we put mischaela down. as we walk into our quiet house, with our dinner guests trailing behind us, I set my coat and bag down in the dining room when a crowd of friends jump out of my living room yelling "surprise!"

and surprised I was.

there was cake, and lots of food, and an incredibly generous collection of gifts that my husband organized a pool of money go towards, that I actually opened in front of my friends - something I have not done since my last birthday party at the fun age of twelve, and chatting with some friends I have not been able to see in a while.

after spending the last couple of years as a mom, always home and doing the humble duties of running after a young child, and keeping a home, it was strange to be in the spotlight and accept the care and encouragement from friends and family in such a public manner, but I felt celebrated and loved.

I am thankful for my husband who painstakingly kept this truly a surprise for me. and for a person who can keep very little from me, and for someone like me who apparently asks too many questions, this was a pretty big deal. thank you friends and family for your kind words and generousity!